Thursday, March 11, 2010

BTW, Why am I posting this?

It is just comically familiar, I guess.

Legion: The Buzz review

Let us not pretend that Legion is some kind of brainy art-house job. Legion is a gloriously daft B-movie with a comically audacious pitch: Take the basic premise of Terminator but remove all the stuff about science. Instead of killer robots from the future you have killer robots from Heaven. Instead of Skynet you have God. Yes, God. The Lord Of Hosts. That God.

Obviously, what with this being a B-movie (albeit a particularly ambitious one) we can’t afford to show the Lord God Almighty laying waste the whole Earth.

Instead we have a bunch of mismatched strangers holed up in a diner called Paradise Falls (geddit?) and giving it the full Assault On Precinct 13. Or, if you prefer, Tremors.

Now, if a mighty host of immortals showed up at the diner in person to off the one child who can lead humanity to freedom, the film would be shorter than its magnificently loopy trailer.

Consequently the angels possess the bodies of a random selection of locals and turn them into shambling killer zombies who don’t know how to use firearms.

Now, you of course already know that demonic (or in this case angelic) possession gives you freaky contact lenses but did you also know that it gives you freaky little teeth and makes you get all bitey? Well it does.

Who would have known that they already made a movie out of my blog?


Anonymous said...

wow, a little too far maybe?

Anonymous said...

Remember, please, this sordid episode in history has everything to do with Satan impersonating holiness and nothing to do with The Blessed Trinity. You're a good man who has lived through a catastrophe. Please do not compound it by blaming God.

I will keep you and your fellow exLCs in my prayers. Thank God you had the insight to leave that horrible situation. Con Dios, amigo.

Jeannette said...

Um, anonymous and anonymous, are you aware that our friend Landon (I am too) is once again amused that a movie called "Legion" is out, and some of the reviews sound a lot like the latest Legion headlines? See, there are bad angels and good angels (so far so good) and God is ready to wipe out humanity and from there, the theology gets really goofy, from the sound of things.

It's. A Movie. Review.