Thursday, February 19, 2009

Maciel's Brainy Defense

Sent to Exlcblog by Glenn Favreau

"Facts on the brain tumor.

There was no brain tumor.

In 1985, Maciel banged his head on a car door frame, rather severely, and needed surgery to relieve pressure on the brain.

Complications ensued, and he had a subsequent surgery to remove infection, resulting in the placement of a plate on one side of his forehead in a third surgery.

I know, I was in the Legion at the time."

Inventing the brain tumor excuse is pretty sick. And stupid. And stupider yet to believe it. And it goes no where to explain the sexual abuse back in the 40's, 50's, and 60's already admitted by the Legion.


Anonymous said...

To all my grass root supporters,

Do you believe this! Just because I molested a few kids, conned 5 popes and didn't tell the truth a few times, people are condemning me like I am Judas. Oh how weak people become when they are challenged. I just hope this doesn't prolong my beatification, I mean come on people its not like I didn't do enough good to not be a saint!!! One time when I was going to the airport both my Mercedes and Audi were in the shop being repaired. I had to ride in a Fiat! A fifteen minute ride to the airport in a Fiat with no air conditioning. What if Carlos Slim woulda seen me in a Fiat! Oh the Lord is good, he protected my image. between the fact I was riding in a Fiat and sweating so much from lack of AC I bet I freed 300 souls from purgatory that day. How many of you people can say that!! But no... your just like the liberal media, you only see the negatives of my life. So I embezzled money, big deal! I got that money from some rich yuppy anyway. I did him a favor by taking 5million dollars off his hands. That 5 million would have put him in hell. we all no Christ said man cannot serve two masters. But of course people only see me as a child molester. We all know I am a saint I heard so many people say oh that Maciel he's such a saint.. please please everyone your making me blush.. but then again for some odd reason I like to hear people toot my horn.. wow maybe I do have physiological problems... where the hells my morphine when I need it?!?! Oh yeh I kicked that addiction back in the 60's.. that darn Pius XII was onto me. He even had the nerve to kick me out of the Church for a few years! It can't be hey maciel thanks for putting Mexico back on the map or hey Maciel thanks for fleeing to the USA when times got tough so you could start such a great movement for the Church. Of course not he only saw me as a tripped out morph addict standing in the middle of St. Peters square claiming to be Elvis. I hope God judged him accordingly. And whats the deal with my mother why isn't she beatified yet!! Come on Pope Benny, I thought you were my friend. Geez whats a saint gotta do to get people to like him these days. Saint Francis had it easy!! If he only new all the suffering I have to go through.

well I will need to cut this letter short, my limo just pulled up I got a big meeting tonight with Carlos Slim... This Limo better have air conditioning. I get moody when I'm hot. Thank God I have all these peons to take my misery out on. Just like the one time a mistress of mine in Argentina wouldn't sleep with me anymore.. Oh I was mad, so mad I had one of the Novices clean up donkey droppings in front of my house in Cotija. I simply told him it was God's will and the poor SOB was on his hands and knees with a toothbrush cleaning donkey crap from between each brick. Oh the superiors told me all about it, I just wish I could have been there to laugh! But of course I wouldn't laugh at him I'd laugh with him. You know my Legionaries always smile. Those cute little boys there all just so happy doing God's will, it drives me wild!!. I did the kid a favor I let him make a sacrifice for Christ. Me being the initiator of the sacrifice gets me double the grace of the one doing task. Wow sometimes its tough being a living Saint all these graces I am receiving from my little upstarts doing all the work really makes me feel great. Maybe that's why my darn sex drive is so outta control. I just wish I knew my sexuality. That's why I keep my peon girls and boys separated. I know I can't keep it in my pants and I'm a living saint!! How is some average Joe from Kentucky not going to try and hook up with every girl he see's. So once again I am just doing my people a favor by separating the sexes... Damn, sometimes I hate being so smart. Well I must leave you know I got one of my mistresses here now complaining about child support and I need to jump in the limo to Go meet Mr Slim. Wow I am really suffering right now. This lady wants ten thousand dollars! I hope Slim will reimburse me! Remember, just because I am an oversexed pimp with my mind on my money and my money on my mind doesnt give you any reason to criticize me. If 5 popes supported me, all you no names better be bowing to me!

God Bless,

Saint MM

PS: I live off donations so don't get stingy with God. Not giving a saint money is like 5 lashes added to Christ suffering.

Oh yeh and make sure all checks are made to my Swiss Bank account. And don't you dare ask why I have a Swiss Bank account, that would be like asking for a glass of water in the hot desert! Simply accept it as God's will.

Anonymous said...

screw you and your grass roots supporters.

Anonymous said...

lol I think he is being sarcastic in that first one.

Anonymous said...

My ribs are litterally hurting, and my face muscles feel weak, and my abs feel like they've been worked over.....

Thanks Saint mm.... haven't laughed like that for a long time!

Anonymous said...

Yes yes my little upstarts you know how society works. Just as Barack Obama used the "Change" philosophy to get voted into the white house, so must my people use the "Gods Will" philosophy. Obama talked about change, but when the opposition questioned what he was going to change they got no definitive answer. My members of the movement I say to you... You all must never give a definitive answer, simply saying the movement is God's gift to humanity it is God's Will that it continue. If anyone tries to questions its motives further, simply tell them you fear for their soul. Who are they to question God??

I love it!! I love how you are so gracious to react.. a brain tumor.. brilliant!! I was sweating bullets to see how I was going to pull this one outta my ass but I taught you well. That darn brain tumor.. wow I tell you that thing made me horny as a goat. The more my head throbbed with excruciating pain, the more I had the urge to get my booty on. Once again everyone will blame it on me. It can't be her fault for wearing the see through sun dress and those fake DD's.. No its poor ole Maciels fault for being human.. Oh the suffering I endore.. All my suffering is starting to make Christs Passion look like a walk through Strawberry field. Wow sainthood ain't easy boys and girls. Or perhaps I was going for my morphine and accidentally took the Viagra sample the darn Mexican pharmacist accidentally gave me instead of my Prozac? It was a strange feeling my whole life my heart always ached to save souls. but for some reason , that day, my genitals were really aching to knock up a 15 year old girl. Between the Brain tumor and the Viagra, I once again relieved 300 souls from the deepest rungs of purgatory with all that suffering.

So here comes little Maciel.. shit now I got a kid. I always made fun of black people now I know what they're going through. What was I suppose to do abort my daughter! Riiight.. A saint doesn't believe in abortion. Was I to tell the Pope? No way! Do you think he would really believe me? A 65 year old Saint knocks up a 15 year old Spanish Bimbo. That's like a plot from a bad movie, the type of movie I make my seminarians watch. So I nurtured my daughter in the charism of my spirituality. My spirituality was approved by the Church, so what better way to raise your kid right? Do you think I'd raise her in Franciscan spirituality? Come on those guys have beards they gotta be weirdo's. Right!!! I tried to get her to go to the pre canadicy for consecrated women but she really resisted me, saying she's not into cult life. See again! I try and try and try to save souls and my own daughter tells me I'm a whacked out nut job who should be locked up in a Mexico City jail, but being called this by so many people in my life it didn't phase me one bit. I tried to get her to read "Time and Eternity" and she said she would only use that God awful thing for toilet paper. I was wandering why the middle 5 pages were missing? I guess when ya gotta go ya gotta go. Then I tried to get her to read "Dating and Engagement" she told me she'd rather get marital advice from Jenna Jamison then some womanizing freakshow like me. My own daughter told me this! Christ has really blessed me with so many great sufferings. It was such a gift to have her call me these things, I watched 300 more souls flee from purgatory and my rank in the Sainthood sky rocketed up once again. I really suffered raising her, but I offered it all up. Wow I think all that suffering just bumped St. Paul down a step. Look out Holy trinity, look out Blessed Mother, look out Communion of Saint's MM is getting old he'll be joining ya all soon.

Getting old is a bitch to. My mistress ditched me for some younger guy who didn't need 10 Viagra pills to please her. I mean yeh I am 80 and she's 30, but I'm a fricken saint! He's some lowlife French prick who's not even an RC member!! He has no chance of salvation and I coulda solidified her a spot next to the Blessed Mother!! I guess she was just to earthly to see my inner beauty, because let me tell you I am one beautiful son of a bitch, aren't all saints!! I got the pope on my side to, how can you doubt me!! My therapist told me she didn't like the fact I was an oversexed pedophile. Maybe that's why I freaked her out when I wanted a son so bad instead of a daughter? Hey, I thought to myself since I can't keep it in my pants I may as well keep it in the family right? But of course I will get condemned for that to. It's a cruel world. Oh well, but anyway The last I heard of my daughter she was working at the bunny ranch out in Nevada. She blames it on bad parenting but I blame it on the fact she's just a whore. I guess there's nothing bad about having a daughter follow Mary Magdalenes foot steps. Wow once again I amaze myself. Not only am I a saint but I also breed saints! The bottom line is I spent my whole life having my people protect my image, when I should have been having protected sex instead. Oh wait saints don't use contraceptives. So I did the right thing again!! This saint thing.. Wow! I just love myself!

But what i want my people to reflect on is See how Christ giving me this brain tumor let me save so many souls? How many of you can say that... Oh how weak you are my people. How weak you are.

For the fear of God never surrender to the Truth,

Saint MM

PS: Donations were weak last month I know where in a recession and all. But come on I live off donations. I couldn't even build my new Villa in Spain this month. If you want to be stingy convert to Judaism and goto hell. If not get those checkbooks out and solidify your spot in heaven.

And why the hells is my Mother at least a Blessed by now? Geeez.. come on people wake up!!

Anonymous said...

Exerpts from the Maciel files.

"I banged my head on a car door in 1985, ever since then I've been trying to bang every girl I see"

Saint, MM

Anonymous said...

I died my hair for her and wore special shoes to be taller too.